Weddings
“Give great care to the preparation of engaged couples and be close to young married couples, so that they will be for their children and the whole community an eloquent testimony of God’s love.” - Pope John Paul II
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT!
At Holy Innocents, we strive to make your preparation for the Sacrament of Matrimony an integral part of your life's joyous and memorable occasions. Contact the parish office and make an appointment with one of our priests to begin the preparation process. The Priest will discuss how to fulfill the spiritual marriage preparation requirements (pre-Cana instruction) and the necessary documents for the wedding (wedding license, baptismal certificates, etc.). Marriage preparation takes a minimum of 6 months to a year. Reservation for the desired wedding dates and times may not be set until the criteria are met. In the period leading to the wedding, the Liturgical Wedding Coordinator will work with you to prepare your celebration's liturgical aspects.
ENGAGED COUPLES
The Catholic Church has established several basic requirements for celebrating the Sacrament of Marriage. To fulfill these requirements, to ensure the sacred celebration of the Sacrament, and facilitate marriage preparation, the Diocese of San Bernardino has adopted the following policies:
1) INITIAL CONTACT: Engaged couples desiring to be married in the Catholic Church must contact the parish priest or deacon at least six months to a year before the anticipated wedding date. They will guide you through the entire marriage preparation process from start to finish, whether or not you are being married at our parish. It is recommended that couples contact our parish at the beginning of their engagement BEFORE a wedding date is set or begin any other steps, such as booking the hall or venue. Keep in mind there may be delays in the pre-marital process.
2) ASSESSMENT PROCESS: Every couple is asked to participate in an assessment process with the priest or deacon. This process is designed to assist the couple and the priest/deacon in assessing the engaged couple’s readiness for marriage. The process begins with an initial interview with the priest/deacon. As part of the process, each engaged person must complete a questionnaire and inventory tool.
The inventory tools approved in the Diocese of San Bernardino are F.O.C.C.U.S. (Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding, and Study), designed to assess the strengths of your relationship and areas that may need growth. The PMI (Pre-Marital Inventory) is a powerful tool to help you get to know each other even more deeply and reveal relationship strengths so you may capitalize on and grow in them while proactively helping identify areas needing attention before they become issues later. The facilitator will review the inventory and discuss the couple's key aspects of the marital relationship. After the assessment, the facilitator and the couple decides to proceed with or delay the wedding.
*SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES
The bridegroom and bride are to share with the priest or deacon any of the following circumstances:
If one or both are under the age of eighteen (18);
If there is a pregnancy involved;
If they are presently cohabiting (living together);
If one of the engaged is not Catholic;
If one or both have been married before in any ceremony or common-law union;
If they are now civilly married and wish to have, their marriage convalidated in the Catholic Church.
“It is a canonical requirement (“canonical form”) that a Catholic be married before a properly delegated priest or deacon and two witnesses. A Catholic who marries outside the church without a dispensation from the canonical form does so invalidly, i.e., the Church does not recognize the marriage. Some circumstances require special steps to assist the couple in preparing for marriage in the Church. If any of these special circumstances exist, it does not necessarily mean one cannot marry in the Church. However, it does mean that an honest discussion of these circumstances should occur between the couple and the marriage preparation facilitator.”
3) FORMAL MARRIAGE PREPARATION PROGRAMS
Every engaged couple wishing to be married in the Diocese of San Bernardino– whether theirs is a first-time marriage, a convalidation, or a re-marriage – must attend a formal diocesan-approved marriage preparation program. This is to be completed during the first four months of their preparation. Since the last few weeks before their wedding are filled with so many practical details, it is important that the engaged couple spend quality time early on to prepare themselves for the Sacrament of Matrimony.
The Diocese of San Bernardino has three formal marriage preparation programs. Our priest or deacon will meet with the engaged couple to determine which program best meets the couple’s needs:
(1) Parish-based Marriage Preparation Course. These classes consist of six to eight short sessions (one to two hours), usually spaced a day apart, held in small group settings virtually or at our parish. Courses are generally scheduled two times a year (Spring & Fall). Please contact the parish office for more information.
(2) Engaged Encounter Weekend. This is a weekend retreat experience presented by two married Catholic couples and a priest. It is designed to help engaged couples self-reflect, communicate, understand their sexuality, etc. The main thrust of the weekend is personal reflection and dialogue. The retreat is offered five times per year at the local retreat center. For more information and to register, go to Engage Encounter (click here).
(3) Online Marriage Preparation. An online course is available for engaged couples unable to attend either a parish-based marriage preparation class or the Engaged Encounter weekend. This interactive course lasts from one week (minimum) to three months (maximum), depending upon the couple’s pace. Each couple is assigned a personal instructor who follows them throughout the course.
*For more information and to register, in English (click here), En Español (haz click aqui), for convalidating couples (click here).
4) NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING (NFP)
“In NFP, the couple understands, accepts, and uses their God-given phases of fertility and infertility to achieve or avoid pregnancy. In this way, the unitive and procreative, the love-giving and life-giving meanings of sexual intercourse are maintained together responsibly.”
According to the Diocesan guidelines, a course in Natural Family Planning (NFP) is generally required for all couples capable of conceiving children. If applicable, the priest will connect you with one of our NFP Coordinators, who will present you with the moral and practical elements of NFP. The couple may also receive this introductory class from a certified instructor outside of the Diocese in either a live class setting or online. *As part of your requirements, a certificate of attendance must be submitted to the priest handling your marriage preparation sessions.
Diocesan-approved online NFP courses can be done either through:
-The California Association of Natural Family Planning
-To connect with our parish NFP Coordinator, contact Nabor Manriquez at 760-985-4776 or email: nlmbillings@gmail.com
FORMS
Please print these, fill them out, and return them to the main parish office during normal hours.
-Marriage Preparation Checklist- Bilingual
-Dispensation Form (Needed if one party is not Catholic)
-Defect of Form-Spanish (Only if previously married)
-Defect of Form-English (Only if previously married)
-Prenuptial Questionnaire-English
-Prenuptial Questionnaire-Spanish
Freedom to Marry Forms
Each of you is required to have one witness who will testify on your behalf. You will need one(1) “Freedom to Marry” form for each bride and groom, two (2) forms altogether. Parents or older siblings are the preferred witnesses. A friend can serve in this capacity; however, they must have known you since childhood and knows whether you have been married before. The testimony they are to give concerns: your intentions in entering the sacrament of Matrimony (to enter a lifelong commitment, to be faithful to each other, and be open to having children) and that you are entering this marriage freely and without coercion. The witnesses must sign these forms in front of a priest or deacon. If the forms are not completed at Holy Innocents Church, they must be signed and sealed by the church of completion.
-Freedom to Marry form-English
Marriage Links:
Please visit the U.S.C.C.B Catholic Bishop’s website for more information about Marriage Preparation.
For more information about Convalidation, please visit the U.S. Bishop’s website & For Your Marriage Website.
Diocese of San Bernardino Office of Marriage & Family Life Ministry - Sacrament of Marriage
Sacramental Records from Military Bases:
If you were baptized or received any other sacrament on a U.S. Military Base in the United States or abroad, your records should be at the Military Archdiocese. Send a request to the Archdiocese for Military Services by mail, fax, or online - but not by phone. It takes two to six weeks to process a request, with their busiest time from mid-January through mid-June. Each certificate costs the Military Archdiocese approximately $25 to produce, process, maintain, and mail. A donation would be accepted gratefully.
To request sacramental records online: click here.
Archdiocese for the Military Services
Office of Sacramental Records
PO Box 4469
Washington DC 20017-0469
202-719-3605 phone
202-269-1002 fax
Marriage Convalidation
Are you married but not in the Catholic Church? For more information on having a civil marriage blessed in the Church, please get in touch with the parish office to make an appointment with one of our priests or deacon.
*Marriage preparation is always required for couples seeking Convalidation, but the content and method of preparation can vary depending on the circumstances. The priest may use discretion to ensure that the couple is prepared theologically and spiritually for marriage.
Marriage Ceremony (Nuptial Mass & Outside of Mass)
Fees:
Nuptial Mass Stipend/Fees (Marriage during Mass)
Rite of Marriage (Outside of Mass):
Rite of Matrimony Ceremony Form
Rito para la Celebración de Matrimonio (Sin Misa)
Rito para la Celebración de Matrimonio (Marriage outside of Mass)
*Setting the Wedding Date Policy: The wedding date may be set if it is clear that the couple is free to marry. Suppose one or both parties are not free to marry because of a prior marital bond. In that case, a date cannot be set (not even tentative) until the prior attempted marriage is declared null and the party (parties) declared free to marry. All other impediments are to be removed before the wedding. All requests for dispensations and permissions are to be submitted to the Canonical Office at least six (6) months to one (1) year before the wedding date.